Monday, March 29, 2010

Log of Betting Wins & Losses

I decided to keep a log of my betting wins and losses on rarámuri races. This way, I can monitor how often they race, as well as the development of my new vice.

Friday, March 26

1. Race 1, against Colonia Unidad.
Carita, age 11, ran for Oasis.
10 km.

Amount Bet: 50 pesos
Win/Loss: Loss

2. Race 2, against Colonia Unidad.
Carita's sister, age 8, ran for Oasis.
4 km.

Amount Bet: 100 pesos
Win/Loss: Win

Total earnings for the day: +50 pesos

I normally bet 20 or 30 pesos, but a rarámuri woman named Carolina, who is very open and likes to tease me a lot, pressured (she would object to that word, haha) me into betting this amount. After I lost the first 50, I didn't want to bet on the second race, but she was very confident I would be able to recuperate the money I lost, so I listened to her, against my better judgment. I am glad I did--I ended up winning back my 50 pesos, plus another 50 pesos! So total earnings for the night: 50 pesos.

The first race was the most exciting. Carita, the Oasis runner, was winning for most of it, but she slowed down a lot the last 3 km. This is when many of the women, including myself, began running alongside her, shouting "weriga, weriga!" (hurry, hurry!) and "weh-mah, Carita!" (run fast, Carita!) It was late evening when this took place, so there weren't many cars on the road. Still, the cars that had to stop suddenly to avoid hitting us (we were a huge herd that took up most of the road) and the families who were taking evening strolls must have thought we were a crazy bunch, and me the craziest among them. Imagine a herd of women in colorful dresses, all shouting unintelligable words in high-pitched voices, and me among them. It was a fantastic way to spend a Friday night!

Usually I use any money I win to buy sodas for rarámuri friends, but since it got to be so late I didn't do it. To be honest, the next day I went to Starbucks and had an iced tea and a cookie, which amounted to 50 pesos. I felt guilty, since there were rarámuri women seeking kórima at the crosswalk outside the Starbucks, but it was fun to enjoy my earnings. This time I will chalk it up to a cultural experience. After all, the rarámuri women usually use their extra earnings for a treat too--new material for a dress, a burrito from a vendor, new sandals, ice cream, whatever.

Tuesday, March 30

1. Race 1, against Colonia Unidad (again!)
Sara, age 16, ran for Oasis.
10 km
.

Amount Bet: 40 pesos
Win/Loss: Loss


Total earnings for the day: -40 pesos

The festivities for Semana Santa kicked off on Sunday, March 28. The "fariseos" dance from 8 AM until 6 PM (and one night they danced until 10 PM). The women spend hours every morning preparing lunch for the dancers. But even with all the festivities and the extra work that goes into organizing them, the women still found time to hold a 10 kilometer race on Tuesday. Once again, a group of women from Colonia Unidad came to Oasis to challenge. I left the race a bit early because it was going too late into the night for me that day, but the next day I was told that we lost. I walked into Oasis the next morning, saw a group of women sitting in front of the chapel, and said "what happened yesterday?" They grinned at me and said "we lost." They always laugh when they tell me we lost, I think because they like to tease me that I lost money.

I don't think there will be any more races until after Easter. The festivities are the focus of the week, and Saturday will be the most important day. One woman said they would resume racing the Monday after Easter Sunday.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Rarámuri children in Oasis

Rarámuri girl in front of her house

bathtime!

After school hours in Oasis

Behind the Oasis school, some of the rarámuri adolescent boys have turned the walls into a gallery of graffiti art. Here, one boy posing in front of his art.

Another artist in front of his contribution to the gallery


The boys like to imitate the behavior of their older brothers and cousins, taking on "tough guy" attitudes. This is why it surprised me when each boy wanted me to take his picture in front of this wall holding the baby featured in the center of this picture.

Me and one of the most handsome guys I have ever laid eyes on

Friday, March 19, 2010

A quick border crossing

I am in El Paso on a brief weekend visit (I haven't been home since Christmas, and I only live 4 hours south!) All the Walgreens, Targets and Wal-Marts have the Easter treats on sale: chocolate bunnies, Peeps, colorful Easter eggs. But this Easter, instead of painting my world in pastels with Easter Mass, Easter brunch in a springtime dress, and a bouquet of daisies on the kitchen table (I am always inspired to buy flowers this time of year), I will watch another cow be sacrificed and eat the cooked meat the following day. I love that I can travel only four hours by car and submerge myself in two completely different cultures and sets of traditions. Actually, three sets of cultures and traditions, since the raramuri way of life is completely different from the chabochi way of life. I love the richness of borders--not only the physical ones, but the metaphorical ones that emerge only because of the existence of the physical border.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I try hard not to impose my values on the raramuri. I have learned that if I really want to understand "raramuri reality," as one anthropologist puts it, I have to set aside my perceptions of right and wrong and immerse myself as fully as possible in the lives of the raramuri. Setting aside my perceptions of right and wrong is controversial, since obviously some things that occur in life are definitely wrong; how contradictory. But the goal is to allow the raramuris' experiences to become my own, as impossible as that is. It is the hardest I have ever tried to obtain an open mind. I need a lot of guidance. For example, after my first tesguinada (beer-drinking party; very common in raramuri culture), I walked away pretty disgusted and confused. I felt that what I had witnessed confirmed every stereotype about the raramuri. Many of the raramuri were so drunk they were passed out on the ground; some of them were fighting; there were children unattended to and crying. I told an anthropologist that I felt the situation was completely out of control. I received an enlightening lecture about control as a relative concept, a social construction. Then I was guided to consider that complete inebriation is a way for the normally serious and disciplined raramuri to lose their inhibitions in a socially accepted forum. What's more, this loss of inhibition often inspires new couples to get together, and thus the party often sees the beginning of a new family.

At the beginning, it was not hard to be an impartial observer in Oasis, but as I have developed relationships with the raramuri, I find it increasingly difficult not to want to be an actor in the community, especially when it comes to resolving problems. On a daily basis, it's difficult to judge when my interference is imposing my personal values on the raramuri, and when it is actually helpful. Perhaps the two are not necessarily so distinct.I have to be careful--my perception of a problem is not necessarily theirs, as I learned at my first drinking party. Another example: I often see children playing around Oasis and the surrounding neighborhood without shoes or sandals. Most of them have shoes; for some reason, their mothers don't always make their children wear them. I see this as dangerous, since there are rocks and sometimes broken glass on the street. I often have the urge to tell children to put their shoes on, but I don't, since I suspect the raramuri mothers don't view their children running barefoot as a danger the way I do. I know that in both the Sierra and the city, raramuri runners often race through mountains and roads without shoes. Barefootedness is a preferred state--it is not my preferred state, but I try to remind myself to respect them, even while I cringe as I watch children walking on rough terrain.

Today I caved and interfered. I was walking through Soriana with Julissa and we were discussing hygiene. I was curious to know what Julissa knows about hygiene, and how she practices it. I learned she doesn't use shampoo on her hair and doesn't shower every single day. I suspected that long ago, but I refused to let it keep me from hugging her or braiding her hair when she asked me to. I know she's been going to the dentist frequently (I'm not sure why, she can't tell me), so I asked when she brushes her teeth. She told me she doesn't have a toothbrush. I hesitated a lot, but I finally decided to buy her one. I'm careful about giving gifts because I don't want the raramuri to feel that I am patronizing them; and on the other hand, I don't want anyone to view me merely as a gift-giver. I'm particularly conscious about not giving gifts that relate to hygiene, because a common insult around here is "indio sucio," or "dirty Indian." Julissa was delighted with the gift, but I was worried her mom would take it badly. Still, I decided the risk was worth it because I couldn't stand the thought of Julissa not brushing her teeth when she apparently already has so many problems with them.

In the end, Julissa's mom seemed pleased. I took a risk giving such an intimate gift, I think, but I think the time I have spent in Oasis by now has broken down a lot of barriers between me and them. A raramuri told me the other day that I have seen a lot in Oasis, some things that I should never have seen it all--but he said it with a smile.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Some reflections on beauty, fashion, masks, and individualism

"Why do you paint your fingernails?" Jiovanna, my five-year-old friend, often asks me

"Why do you wear beaded necklaces?" I usually ask in return

Julissa becomes impatient with the questions and answers them for us. "Because you like to paint your fingernails, and because you like your beaded necklaces." I like that answer, because it makes me think that Julissa isn't aware that what we wear and what we consider beautiful is more often than not influenced by outside forces: society, religion, our mothers (haha).

But Julissa is transfixed by my eyeshadow. "Today you're wearing brown. Why?"

"I don't know...I wanted to wear brown today. It looks good with this shirt." I always have to give an explanation--saying that I simply felt like wearing this color today is usually not an acceptable explanation to her.

"And yesterday you wore purple. Why?" She keeps track of my eyeshadow every day, and on the days I choose to wear eyeliner only, she wants to know the reason.

"Are you going to wear makeup when you grow up?" I have asked her several times, and her answer is always the same. "Nah," she always says with a toss of her head.

"Why not?"

"It's for chabochis."

Simple answer, but it shows Julissa is highly aware of the differences in rarámuri and chabochi dress. I have come to see how important dress is as a mark of class and racial distinction in Chihuahua. Julissa and other rarámuri girls in Oasis may wear more Western items of clothing than their cousins in the Sierra (plastic sandals instead of handmade tire-rubber sandals, sweatshirts instead of rebozos, baseball caps instead of scarves), but some items of clothing are still not widely-accepted among the urban-dwelling rarámuri. Makeup is not common among the rarámuri of Oasis, except perhaps among the teenagers, who are starting to create a new "look" that mixes traditional rarámuri clothing with Western clothing and accessories. There is a pretty teenage rarámuri girl who wears large hoop earrings and black eyeliner and likes to alternate between her traditional dress and tight-fitting jeans and shirts. Sometimes she wears a rarámuri skirt with a "chabochi" top. One day she walked by wearing jeans, and once she had passed, one of the women whispered, "she's wearing those things backward." The rest of the women laughed as if this was the funniest thing anyone had ever said. The girl wasn't wearing her jeans backwards--in fact, she wore the jeans like a model, I thought. But an adolescent or grown rarámuri woman in pants causes a scandal in their society. Despite Julissa's prejudice against rarámuri wearing chabochi fashions, I suspect that painted fingernails and eyeshadow will grow to become a bigger source of contention among rarámuri mothers and their city-born daughters.

For a while, I wondered if wearing makeup and nail polish made me look too foreign, too "chabochi," and would consequently hinder any possibilities of connecting with the rarámuri on a deeper level. So I started dressing more simply for many weeks: jeans, t-shirts, sneakers, no makeup, and no earrings. If you know me, you know I hate wearing sneakers every day, never go out without earrings, and rarely without makeup. The sneakers were a necessary and practical move, since I do a lot of walking and running. But I discarded makeup and earrings when the rarámuri women first started asking me about it because I worried they would come to the conclusion that I was too materialistic, too "chabochi."

So I spent weeks doing the most simple "getting ready" routine I have ever done: shower, dress, and leave. I have always enjoyed the process of choosing the color for my eye makeup every day, and my earrings for the day, and I soon began to miss what one friend teasingly calls my "face." Discussing it one day with another friend, we came to the realization that I was putting on a mask for the rarámuri; that is to say, I was leaving off my makeup, a part of my dress and daily presentation that I have always enjoyed. "Your true face is your mask," my friend said. And she's right. Not that I have a complex about my face in its natural state; I have no problems being seen without makeup. It's just that my normal me has fun choosing colors to reflect my mood, or complement something else I'm wearing.

I think now that the rarámuri women asked me not because they were judging or being critical, as I initially felt. They are simply curious to understand my perception of beauty, as I am curious to understand theirs. I have often marveled at the hours the women spend discussing colors and patterns in dresses that they are considering betting on a race. There is a defined rarámuri perception of materialistic beauty, I think--the rarámuri women like dress and fashion, and there are culturally accepted norms of dress in their society just as there are in ours. Their dress is an important marker of cultural and ethnic identity, a way to stand out from the crowd of chabochis. But the rarámuri also like to look good for each other (my wise friend says that women dress for other women, not for men, and I think that is so true! I definitely think it's true with the rarámuri of Oasis, at least.) So many conversations with the women turn to dress, and I have overheard so many comments about the color and pattern of another woman's dress when she is out of earshot. It shouldn't surprise me, I guess--I talk about fashion with almost all of my girlfriends. Clearly the rarámuri women put a lot of thought into their appearances, and while it is interesting to consider that their dresses are very significant markers of rarámuri identity, the best part of all has also been fun getting to know each woman's taste in colors, patterns, and fabrics. I think it's easy to forget that my "research subjects" have an appreciation for colors and designs, like any human. My new favorite question to ask: "what is your favorite color?" They always ask me what mine is, and I always tell them that mine is blue.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Every single day Julissa and her two best friends, Giovana and Lorena, ask me to take them to the "Half Moon," a little park about two blocks from Oasis that has two slides and a ramp for skateboarding. I take them almost every day for about thirty minutes. They get to play, and it gives me a chance to catch up on my field notes.

I have gotten to know these three little girls very well. They follow me everywhere I go, and to be honest, I am happy to have their conversation and company. They're very useful resources too, like Julissa explaining about the guasoliki yesterday. Julissa, who turned nine last week, is the oldest of the three. She suffered from tuberculosis about three years ago. Thankfully, she appears to be healthy as can be now, although I'm sure there are after effects that I don't know about. She's energetic and happy and also very considerate and sensitive. Giovana is lady-like in her appearance and actions, articulate beyond her five years, and extremely funny. Her mom is strict and extremely vigilant of her daughter, and it shows; Giovana is the most obedient of the three. Lorena is also five, but hasn't started school yet. She understands Spanish perfectly but has trouble speaking it. Lorena is the one I have to keep a close eye on, not because she is intentionally naughty, but because she is fearless. I'm especially careful when we walk across a bridge that has bars wide enough for Lorena to fall through--I wouldn't put it past her to throw herself into the arroyo in pursuit of a stray soccer ball or something shiny. The fact that the three mothers trust me to take their young daughters out of Oasis is a huge honor because it is a sign that they trust me.

It's fun to watch the girls play in the park because, first of all, it's nice to see them having a good time, but it's also interesting to observe how they play. Rarámuri children have some different games from other children, which I will describe in a later post. The girls enjoy the excursion, and I'm glad the mothers allow them just enough freedom to go with someone trustworthy and not on their own. There are always nasty men sitting in the park watching little girls play. Crossing the street is dangerous, since cars tend to take the curves too fast. And we also pass kids and teenagers, rarámuri and non-rarámuri, getting high from paint thinner on the streets. They manage to get away with it on the open street because they put the thinner in a coke bottle, then stick it into the sleeve of their oversized sweatshirt which all the druggies wear. This way they can walk around putting the concealed bottle up to their noses. Most of them are just kids and young teenagers and I feel they are unlikely to rob anyone right around Oasis; ironically, there are a lot of patrol cars that circle this neighborhood all day. Overall, the neighborhood around Oasis is safe during the day, but not safe enough to let young children walk to the park by themselves (some mothers disagree, but I wouldn't let my five-year-old or even ten-year-old walk to the park by themselves even in the safest neighborhood in America). This is where my ideas of parenting tend to conflict with some of the Oasis mothers', and I have to be careful not to be too critical and judgmental, because many of the moms allow their kids to roam freely around the neighborhood. Well, perhaps it's not fair to say they all "allow" their kids--every case is different. Either way, I'm definitely attached to these three little girls now and feel protective of them.

Normally the three of them are well-behaved and we have a nice time at the park. But today some devil was in Lorena. She called Julissa "pendeja" (and supposedly she doesn't speak a lot of Spanish!) after Julissa playfully pushed her. She didn't say it maliciously--it was clear to me she was just repeating a word she hears other kids say when they're rough-housing. So I admonished her, but not too harshly. Lorena seemed to understand that she shouldn't say that word anymore, and the three continued to play, although I noticed Julissa was more serious. After a while, Julissa lay down on one side of the skateboard ramp and covered her face. She wasn't sobbing, and she wouldn't answer me when I asked her what was wrong, so I just sat by her and didn't say anything. It took over an hour to convince her to lift her head and tell me what was wrong. She was still hurt by Lorena's insult, so I called Lorena over and had Giovana explain to her in rarámuri what was wrong. Finally, Lorena apologized properly and Julissa felt better. I was frustrated and annoyed about having spent so much time taking care of this conflict, but I gave them five more minutes to play before heading back to Oasis.

Within two minutes, Lorena picked up five pesos that Julissa had dropped and refused to give them back when Julissa asked for them. Julissa tried to pry the money out of Lorena's hands, and Lorena bit her, hard. Both started wailing at the top of their voices, and passers-by were smiling at me trying to calm two little girls. I managed to get them back to Oasis, but Lorena was still crying when we walked through the entrance. As usual, there was a group of women sitting by the entrance sewing. All of them looked up to see which child was crying, and when they saw me holding Lorena's hand, I swear all of them grinned at the same time.

"Why did you hit the child and make her cry?" Paula asked. Everyone tittered.

"Of course I didn't hit her." I released Lore and she ran off to find her mom. I sat down with the women and explained what had happened. Their smiles were amused. They probably saw this event as further proof that I am a strange specimen of woman--after all, what rarámuri woman reaches the age of 24 without having at least one child of her own? It's almost unheard of.

"Children are a lot of work," I said after a while, once the conversation had already moved on.

"It's probably best that you never marry, or have kids," Paula said. The women smiled into their sewing. Instead of feeling ridiculous, like I usually feel when the women tease me, I said, "no, I want kids. I think the work is worth it."

By now Julissa and Lore were friends again, and they were playing house under an old wooden table with Giovana. When I said goodbye a while later and prepared to go home, Julissa opened her arms, as if she was asking me a question. I opened mine too, and for the first time the girls ran at me and hugged me. We were just beyond the entrance of Oasis. I glanced over at the group of women, who kept glancing up from their sewing to look at us. I saw some of them nudge women sitting next to them, who also looked up at us. They watched us, whispering and smiling.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Guasoliki, ice cream, and grocery shopping

When I turned the corner today to go to Oasis, a group of rarámuri children were playing with an old, torn-up couch that somebody dropped off in front of the settlement. They had the couch in the middle of the street and were hitting each other with the cushions, screaming with laughter. I stood by and watched them play. Julissa was among the group, but when she saw me she left the game and came over to talk to me instead. We were chatting about school when her mother came out of the settlement, a stuffed rebozo tied around her back, which is always a signal that a rarámuri woman is going somewhere. She said hello to me, then exchanged some words with Julissa in rarámuri. Julissa turned to me and said "we are going to pick guasoliki, want to come?"

I looked at Cuka for affirmation and when she nodded I said, "yes, I want to go." I had no idea where we were going or what guasoliki was (at this point I'm not even sure if I'm spelling it correctly, I haven't researched it yet), but it sounded harmless enough, so I said yes without hesitating. Another woman named Gloria and her five-year-old firecracker of a daughter, Lorena, were also going.

I have a tight friendship with Julissa but her mom can be hard to read. Sometimes she is talkative and friendly, other times she is silent and barely acknowledges my presence. I was happy that today she was feeling friendly--she spent a long time describing a huge dam on the outskirts of Chihuahua, where she likes to go in the summer to cook meat over an open fire and enjoy the water. She says it is also a great place to sell crafts and candy, since chabochi families also go when the weather gets hot. She asked me if I wanted to go one day, and I said I absolutely did, and she asked when. I told her whenever she wanted, and she seemed to like that answer. She explained the bus route to me and assured me it wasn't very complicated, and I replied that we should go as soon as it got warm enough.

We talked as we walked up a steep hill, then turned right and began to descend into another neighborhood. After thirty minutes of walking, we finally came to a small freeway, which thankfully wasn't crowded, because we had to cross it. Once we got to the other side, I realized there was an arroyo. I panicked for a second, because I was pretty sure we were going to descend it to look for guasoliki. Sometimes I think the rarámuri women climb into arroyos just to pretend they are scaling canyons in the Sierra, they do it so often. I have already had my share of falls descending arroyos, and have gained the reputation of being none too agile, which is not untrue, so I was not looking forward to this scale. To give myself some credit, it didn't occur to me for a minute to not follow them wherever they were going.

I followed Cuka, Gloria and the girls as they looked for the easiest path to descend. Much to my surprise, I was happy to see the path we were going to take a few feet ahead of us: it was an easy descent, a wide trail that someone had made. My attention turned away from worrying about the climb to what I saw at the bottom of the arroyo. No trash, a lot of brush. There was plenty of murky water bubbling noisily over rocks. Cuka said the water came from the dam. A stench reached my nose as we began the descent, and I said "I bet that water is filthy." "I don't think so," Cuka replied, and I felt a little sorry for her for having such low standards.

The girls skipped ahead of us, plugging their noses. They disappeared around a bend and I could hear screams and laughter. As I rounded the bend, the half-decayed carcass of a dog lay on the side of the path. I saw part of a set of ribs exposed where there wasn't black and white fur still stuck to the body. There was some blood, or flesh; I don't know what I saw, but I saw some red before I averted my eyes. The stench was incredible. "Mmm, smells like meat," Cuka said, and Gloria started laughing.

When we got to the bottom of the arroyo, the stench had disappeared. There was freeway on both sides of the arroyo, but the cars were far above us. Being at the bottom of the arroyo felt a little like wilderness (to me; I doubt the rarámuri would second that opinion).

"We are going to cross the stream to go pick the guasoliki. You can stay here?" Cuka began brushing dirt off a rock for me to sit. "Thank you, thank you," I said, and helped her brush off the dirt. The women and Lorena began making their way toward the stream, while Julissa sat down next to me.

"You're not going to go with them?" I asked her.

"Nah," she said. "I'll stay here with you."

I never have to worry about annoying Julissa with too many questions, or about looking ridiculous if I ask about something that is obvious to the rarámuri. So I decided to clear up my confusion. "What is guasoliki?"

"Do you see those green plants growing by the water, on the other side?" I nodded. They looked kind of like yerba buena, which my mom plants at home. Lush green, abundant and healthy-looking. "That is guasoliki."

"And what do you do with it?"

"We eat it, we boil it and eat it with salt."

"Like a soup?"

"Yes."

I could tell it was muddy all around the stream because the women had to lift their feet high each time they took a step. They walked into the stream and got the hems of their skirts wet, and their plastic sandals and feet up to their ankles were muddy. After a minute, Julissa couldn't simply watch anymore, and she joined Lorena in picking guasoliki from this side of the stream. I hated sitting on a rock that Cuka had cleaned off for me, and wanted badly to join them; but unfortunately I picked today to wear a nice pair of flats rather than the grimy tennis shoes I usually have. I couldn't bring myself to ruin them. I briefly considered going barefoot, but I decided against it. There were some beer bottles lying around, which implied to me that people use the arroyo for a variety of activities that do not include picking guasoliki. Ever since I found a syringe outside Oasis a few weeks ago, I cringe every time I see children playing barefoot. I wasn't about to go barefoot myself.

So I sat on a rock and watched as Cuka and Gloria spent half an hour bent over tugging guasoliki out by the roots and filling three plastic bagfuls of it. Julissa and Lorena worked hard too, in between splashing each other. Lorena was delighted every time she picked a particularly large specimen of guasoliki; she always turned to show it to me. "Look at that!" I would say and she would laugh. When the girls got tired, they began exploring the arroyo and found some other treasures: an old tire, a bundle of wire that Julissa said was perfect for making ariwetas. At one point, Gloria took off her sandals and left them on the muddy shore of the stream, but the mud slid them back into the water and the current carried one shoe away. A fifteen minute search ensued, and for a while I sat alone on my rock, a little uncomfortable, as everyone went downstream to look for the shoe. But they never found it, so Gloria had to walk home barefoot.

On our way home I asked Cuka and Gloria how long the guasoliki would last them. Splitting up evenly what they had gathered, they both said it would last about a week. They asked me if I had ever eaten it, and I said I hadn't. "I add carrots and onion to it sometimes," Gloria said.

When we got back to the neighborhood, I took the girls to play at the park. We bought homemade ice cream at a local shop: an enormous scoop on a big cone for less than a dollar. We sat on a skateboarding ramp and ate it, Lorena wriggling the entire time because she wanted to run around while she ate, but I told her she would drop the cone if she did that. Later, we met up with Cuka and walked to the grocery store together, where Cuka bought an enormous bagful of potatoes and jalapeños. Again, we discussed what we like to eat. We also looked at baby clothes and Cuka took me to the beauty section to ask me what some creams were for.

The day revolved entirely around food: searching for and picking food, buying a treat at the park, and buying some essentials at the grocery store. I left them after the grocery store to take the bus home. I am always going to wear my grimy tennis shoes from now on--I don't want to exile myself from any more activities because of my shoes.